Base Desires

“The student as boxer, not fencer. The fencer’s weapon is picked up and put down again. The boxer’s is part of him. All he has to do is clench his fist.”

The ability to use learned information is a beautiful gift. I am astounded when I think of the compounding knowledge each generation passes on to the next. To take an idea and add yet another layer on top of the previous–this is the foundation upon which we build all advancement as a civilization or as a human race.

I think of this notion, and wonder what – if anything – I will add to this legacy. There are people out there who are contributing to the continuation of technology. I am not one of them. Honestly, I don’t think I want to be one of them. But I’m not sure if I am OK with being just another consumer, either. It’s complicated.

I feel as though I have the makings of a person who could impact the world in a significant way. However, I recognize the probability that this is most likely a product of all the You-Can-Be-Whatever-You-Want-To-Be crap I was fed as a child. I will occasionally have the vague sense that somewhere along the way, something went wrong. Like the majority of people, I have the potential to use information as Aurelius suggests: always at the ready, constantly at the forefront of my brain, the hours spent studying never going to waste. I am ashamed to say that I often squander this gift.

At the root of the issue, I am conflicted in nature. I would like nothing more than to float steadily through life, never rising, never falling, always comfortable. That would be nice, warm, and cozy. But at the end of it all, I would look back on my life and wonder why it was such a waste. I just need to remind myself that I don’t have to give in to my base desires. I can be more than electrical impulses, responding with only primal instincts. I know I can. I just need to remind myself.